Q: I've really screwed the pooch on this meal and I bungled /burned/lied/never cooked/my dog ate what I was cooking. What do I do now?
A: In this case, this is part of learning, so get used to it happening from time to time. Just admit defeat and order pizza or chinese. Then get stupid drunk. If you get too wrapped up, you'll work up your blood pressure and if a date is present, you'll look like you've got issues. And if those issues come out, just explain, "sorry, babe, I didn't mean to act that way....it's just that I was stupid drunk."
Q: I'm not really confident working without a cookbook or a recipe. Am I doomed for a life of eternal damnation?
A: Quite possibly, yes. And that may be a good thing. But as far as using recipes or a cookbook, don't sweat it.....but remember to use the recipe as a guide more than anything else. The trick is, don't get too trapped into believing that's the only way to make that dish. Use recipes as a guide to start off, then start experimenting with new stuff. Kinda like the last babysitter your parents let you stay with alone.
Q: I've got a really urgent question. Can I call you for advice?
A: Um...no. However, feel free to just shoot me an e-mail and I'll get back to you as soon as possible, usually within 24 hrs. Unless I'm on a date and stupid drunk.
Q: Holy crap that girl on your Homepage is HOT! Can I get her phone number, address, or an article of clothing?
A: So long as you're willing to pay my legal expenses, sure why not? Hire your own damn model! BUT...you can view more photos of Jenny and other ridiculously attractive people at Howard Robinson Studios online.
Q: So you love to cook, can decorate, dress impeccably, keep your house very clean, and you've never been married. Aren't you insecure about your manhood?
A: Ah, appreciate the moral support, but no.
Q: Are you sure? Maybe its time you found a nice girl and settled down?
A: Mom! Please drop the issue.....
Q: Do you receive any money for endorsing any of these products or companies?
A: Not a dime. I make these recommendations based upon years of trial, error, and education and am convinced they represent some of the best values on the market.